Badges of Honor

Today in lunch time, I walked around the park across the road, trying to emerse myself in a decade of the rosary in an attempt to centre myself in the midst of what I feel often is a maelstrom of chaos and  anguish that is currently my work.

I happened to be up to the resurrection, and I tried to actually put myself mentally there... not from a plot line perspective, or a theological understanding of the event - which is my usually contemplation of the rosary...  but rather to imagine what it must of actually been like when our Lord rose on that great Easter morning.

I imagined being within the darkened tomb, and Jesus lying there wrapped in cloth, still; the stillness of death. And then the light erupting from him, brighter than the sun. And as the cloth fell away from him, he sits and then stands - triumphant. The true, one and only deity God made flesh. And while being human, of which's nature by default is less than the lowliest Angel, stands triumphant after having victoriously defeating the greatest being (before the fall) besides God himself.

I saw Jesus standing there, bathed in light, and glory and shining as a beacon for the entire universe, a savior that stood triumphant.

But in my contemplation, I noticed that Jesus still bore the marks of the wounds of the cross on him; despite being made anew, in all his glory. And it made me think, how odd it was that it seemed right that while being totally victorious, that he should still bear the signs of the struggle. And then it re affirmed in me, that him bearing these signs did not lessen his triumph, but gave tribute to the merit of his victory and fulfillment of God's plan. This comforted me some, for in a brief moment I could attribute those scar's of mine that I bore from the tribulations that have left their mark on me. I do not mean to make it sound like I am a martyr, far from it; I realise God has been very gentle with me. But I did find solace in the fact, that the metaphorical scars I carry with me in the service of God, I need not be ashamed of; but can be at peace that I obtained them attempting to stand strong in the ranks of God's called.

I hope I do not come across proud, or self righteous; for that is not my intent or message I wanted to send out to the ether. More, that I am thankful for God's grace of insight, given to me today in the midst of a heartfelt plea, at the edge of a field.